Please critique this small paragraph of my story.?

Hey. Well, I think you have a LOT of talent. You're good with dialogue, and the detailing is exceptional. You have a few editing things to do. If I saw this in a book store, I would pick up, which is something strange because if I didn't like you writing, I wouldn't take the time to answer your question. The fact that I read the whole thing is extravagant, and I'm glad I took the time. It's a little choppy in some places. I won't steal your ideas, by the way. I have enough to work on myself, so yeah. Be careful when you put it up on here, someone else might steal it, though. You have a good choice of words, too, which is good. All in all, I think it's wonderful. Hope I helped. (: