Not sure what to do about this guy im kinda seeing?

lately ive been hanging out with this guy i know. we have gotten really close. to the point we are pretty much dating without being official. the thing is, hes so hard to read. i know he likes me but i dont get why hes so hot cold. we will be cuddling on the couch, curled up in each others arms but then when we are at the movies and im scared, he wont hold my hand. he bought the tickets and i bought lunch, but he wont admit to his room mate its a date. when we kiss, he always goes in for the last kiss, usually we only kiss when we are alone, we arent affectionate in front of anyone, cept for when we are curled up on the couch. and yesterday he kissed me infront of one of his friends, who wasnt payin attention cause he was lookin at his phone, but that was the first time he ever kissed me infront of anyone. what should i do to take some control and figure out what we are without being too forward, i love taking it slow but i wanna know if this will eventually become something. also hes been married before, his wife ran off with her ex not long after they got married, im pretty sure im the first girl hes gotten close to since then, also hes trying to deploy soon. we spent the night together in the same bed for 6 nights and he never tried anything, he hasnt tried to sleep with me or nothing. what should i do? whats going on in his head?