I'm falling into a major depression at 19. (It's long, but I would love help) How do I handle this?

You need to ask your self this, is what I am go thru worth it. Is all of this what I am doing right now going to destroy my life .Or should I close the book and do what I truly want to do, so that I many have Joy in my life again, you choose Joy or sadness. The Lord is trying to tell you something lesson to him. Worry not what others may say its your life not there’s .